A month ago I have attended a career development workshop organised by the Scottish Resource Centre for Women in Science, Engineering and Technology and led by lovely Sam Pringle from Beeleaf Consulting. I was fortunate to spend the whole day “just thinking about myself” in a small company of bright and academically advanced women.
As part of one of the exercises we were asked to write down our challenges – each one on a sticky note. It felt good writing down my current problems and kind of letting go of them knowing that a solution will be suggested by other women in this room. Recharged with a yummy lunch, we began to brainstorm each other’s problems (we were not allowed to solve our own!) The solutions were written on heart-shaped pink sticky notes and put on top of our problems. The suggestions kept coming and soon our challenges were covered with heart-shaped notes of solutions!
I felt so inspired by the abundance of visible support that I volunteered to start the discussion of the proposed solutions. Someone wrote down “being afraid of the changes”. And as I felt that I really welcome most of the changes in my life at the moment, I gave an inspirational speech on embracing the changes.
If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t like your job, you might feel you cannot continue anymore as it is. The situation is unbearable and the change is imminent. However you might be scared of changes, or do not know how to change the situation. You might think you cannot afford to quit the job. If you are stuck with the job you don’t like, you can try this: Change the how not the what. You continue with that same job, but you change how you show up at work every day and how you feel throughout the day doing what you usually do.
Ask yourself these questions: how do you want to feel each day when you arrive at work (e.g. happy, inspired, joyful etc)? What kind of conversations do you want to have with your colleagues (informative, complaint-free, constructive etc)? What kind of environment would you like to have in your office (bright light, beautiful flowers, calm, quite, fresh air etc)? Write your thoughts down in all details exactly as you want things to be throughout the day. Remember to focus more on how you want to feel than on what you want to get or do.
Revisit your writing often to remind yourself of your dreams and priorities. You will soon notice a shift in your situation!
I have been practicing this since about early spring this year. I did not do it quite right from the start. But trying and tweaking and not giving up – all of this has led to some amazing results, just within the last few months. I arrive at work in a happy mood every single day with very few exceptions. I am full of energy and enthusiasm during my working day. The talk I gave at our department two months ago was very well received; I have managed to publish an extensive review in my research field; received an international price. I feel balance between work and family life of caring for my two little children etc etc. All this is from my so called Day Scripts, where I write down exactly how I want to feel throughout my ordinary days.
So ask yourself “what would my perfect average day look like”? This might be difficult at first especially if you cannot stand your job. Try to imagine an ideal weekend. I found it very useful to think of my ideal weekend and how I want to feel throughout (peaceful, present in the moment, connected with my children and husband etc etc). The thing is that if you are wound up about your work and angry about your colleagues it can screw up the most beautiful weekend with your family or friends. Imagine how you want to feel and stick to it no matter what. It will transform the experience of your weekends as well as your working days.
At this point of sharing my experience with the women at the workshop I was interrupted. One woman asked: “well, why don’t we just imagine the best day of our best holiday and then stretch it to 365 days?…” Well, yea, just being on a beach near a warm sea with plenty of food and drink does sound like a good idea. Especially those people, who work full time and after work they are busy with their children with no time to themselves and to rest – they would wish to just sit on the beach and do nothing apart from staring into the sea. But after 2 or 3 weeks, they’ll start to feel rested and a bit bored, and would want to get back to their routine and do something.
So yea, if needed by all means book a holiday, disconnect from your worries and rest and THEN ask yourself that same question: HOW do you want to feel everyday? And who do you want to be – encouraging, trailblazing, joyful and happy, fearless, present in the moment, conscious, peaceful, rich, magnificent, attractive etc etc?…
So embrace the changes in your life by asking yourself the question “what would your perfect average day look like” (if money, people’s opinions, or health and geographical limitations were not an issue!) “How do you want to feel everyday”? Start feeling it right here right now and watch your work and life environment re-aligning itself to adjust to your feelings. You’ll see how new opportunities appear out of nowhere, once you start letting go of things that drain you. You’ll see how you have more energy each day, how your life becomes more meaningful and on purpose. Juts be persistent and give it a little bit of time, several weeks or so. Give it a try and we will check back on this topic in a little while. 🙂
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